Family Caregiver Seeks Help from Elder Care Services

Elder Care in Southampton NY

As the primary family caregiver to her elderly father, Ian, Betty is making the trip from Philadelphia to New York for the third time this month.  She is still mourning the death of her lovely mother, Bertha, some eighteen months prior.  But she can’t think about this right now.  Betty has bigger worries on her mind.

For the past few days, Ian has not been answering her phone calls.  Is something wrong? After calling one of Ian’s neighbors, Betty learns that Ian is still taking his morning walks with his trusted dog, Sarah.  But why isn’t Ian answering her phone calls?  And why isn’t he returning her messages?

Ian lives alone with Sarah in a home that he bought when he and Bertha first retired ten years ago, but Betty is very aware that her father is still grieving the loss of his wife.  During the drive to New York, Betty remembers those first months after the funeral when she and her husband, Ben, brought Ian back to Philadelphia to stay.  As the weeks passed, Ian became increasingly melancholy, desperately, missing his old life back in New York.

Betty knew that her father always considered himself to be the head of the family, the patriarch, the family caregiver to his three children and seven grandchildren.  But Ian also had health issues of his own.  He walked with a cane to help maintain his balance, and his eyesight is failing due to a bout with glaucoma.  So, after her mother’s death, Betty thought it best to bring Ian home to Philadelphia to live.

As Ian’s depression grew deeper in those first months, Betty made the decision as the primary family caregiver to allow Ian to move back to New York with a promise of daily phone calls and weekend visits from Betty and Ben.  This system has worked very well, until now.  Now, Ian is not answering the phone, and Betty is worried.

She arrives on his doorstep, places her key in the lock, and walks inside her father’s apartment.  There, sitting in his favorite Lazy-boy recliner, sat Ian with Sarah perched quietly at his feet.  He is watching his favorite television program while sipping a cup of coffee. When he hears Betty enter, Ian jumps out of his chair a bit startled and a little angry.

“Why aren’t you returning my phone calls?  I was worried about you!” Betty screams.

“I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone.  I have nothing much to say,” Ian returns.

After a lengthy heart-to-heart, Betty discovers that Ian is still rather lonely.  His health is still relatively unchanged, but he misses the companionship of his wife.  Ian is also a very proud man who hates the fact that his daughter has become the primary family caregiver.   Betty expresses her love for her father and suggests a compromise.

“Why don’t we hire someone to keep you company, look after the house, take you to your doctor’s appointments, and make sure that you are taking care of yourself?  That way, I will feel better, and you will still have your independence…and maybe even some good home cooking in the process.  Then Ben and I will only come up once a month, as long as you promise to call us every Sunday evening.”

Ian willingly agrees.  After all, he hates to cook and take care of the house.  With a little help from an elder care provider from a local agency, they find the perfect home care provider.  Jerry is his name, and he is a charming Ex-Navy Cook with a degree in nursing.  Jerry and Ian hit it off immediately, and they are now the best of friends.

If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring professional elder care in Southampton, NY, call the caring staff at Artful Home Care today at 631-685-5001.