What Do You Do When Siblings Can’t Work Together to Care for Mom?

Home Care in Amagansett NY: What Do You Do When Siblings Can’t Work Together to Care for Mom?

When your mom wants to age at home, quality care is likely your main priority. What do you do when your siblings just can’t seem to work together. That’s a tough situation and one that requires extra planning. There may simply be times when outside help is necessary to cover all aspects of your mom’s home care needs.

Get an Expert Opinion

If you look at your mom’s care needs, it’s likely going to differ from what you want. For instance, she may feel perfectly capable cooking her own meals, but you’re not as certain. You’ve seen her forget something was on the stove top, and you’re worried she’ll burn the house down.

Keep a list of the things she wants and then come up with the reasons for or against her desire. Allow your siblings to give their input. Before any decisions are made, take that list to her doctor or case manager and ask for a professional opinion. It could be that you or your siblings are being overprotective. Go with the expert opinion and keep an eye out for changes in her abilities.

Create Group Calendars

If you’re splitting tasks up, keep a detailed calendar that everyone can access. Google Calendar is good for this. Everyone can look at upcoming daily, weekly, and monthly schedules and put their name down if they plan to chip in for that task. This might mean someone takes on all transportation to and from appointments while someone else handles shopping for groceries. A caregiver can help fill gaps where conflicting schedules make it hard to cover certain days.

Don’t Try to Change a Sibling’s Standard Behavior

If your older brother has kept his visits with your mom to short, infrequent ones, don’t expect him to change. If he never offers to cook a meal for your mom, never helps with yard work, and doesn’t ever express interest in going to her appointments, don’t try to force the issue. Maybe his way of caring is to provide companionship by watching her favorite show with her. Trying to force him to become more involved will only lead to more tension. Learn to be happy with whatever he does offer.

Sibling quarrels and excessive feelings of stress won’t help your mom age at home. Talk to a home care agency about bringing in outside help to assist your mom with tasks you and your siblings can’t agree on. You may need a home care professional to take over meal preparation or laundry and that’s okay. The goal is to keep your mom safe and happy, and home care will do just that.

If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring professional home care in Amagansett, NY, call the caring staff at Artful Home Care today at 631-685-5001.